Smorgasbord

Right, we all know I'm a crap blogger alright? It's not my fault that all my free time is spent fighting crime, sleeping and somehow getting chocolate on my neck, because with great power, comes great responsibility....

...so yeah, how are you and stuff? Really? Neat. Let's get down to the nitty-gritty; me what has been bought by the Hooligan for the last few months, neck chocolate aside that is.

TEES.

Above: 1 Seal tee, £15 - Lazy Oaf sale (January)

Below: 2 Popeye tee, Supreme, £35 - Dover Street Market (December)

Oh right, what a boob I am, turns out i don't have any photos of me in the other tees I blagged, and trust me there're some fucking beauts in there. But don't fret, I have a camera, and at least one friend with opposable thumbs so they'll be up soon. DON'T CRY BIRD.

So yeah, moving on...

1 How much of a beast is this please? Always got to show some love for Lazy Oaf, amazing designs on display on everything from tees to packing tape. This one was a no-brainer for me, let's run through the checklist;

* White tee? CHECK

* Fresh colouring? CHECK

* Ecstatic seal with tiny hands? CHECK

2 I don't need to tell you how hard Supreme is to get hold of. Seriously, it's a fucking joke at times, but then I'd rather it be that way than the average pleb bombing round town in a Supreme tee to match their G-Star Raw/Hollister combinations. Twats. But yeah, sourced this out way before release as I just full-on love everything about it, I mean come on, who doesn't love Popeye? The old drunk. It'll look even better when I lose my Christmas boobs though (yep, still here, damn neck chocolate...)

KICKS.

Above: 3 BAPE Roadsta88, £165 £99 - A Bathing Ape Pirate Store, London (January)

Below: 4 Nike + Stüssy, All-Court Black, £70 - The Hideout (December)

            5 Nike + Stüssy, All-Court White, £70 - The Hideout (December)

Above: 6 Nike AirMax Light, £90 - Foot Patrol (December

Below: 7 Nike AirMax 90 Infra-Red, £90 - Kixclusive (January)

The coming months are very strong in terms of sneaker releases, from the Nike Dunk Liberty and ?uestlove, to the upcoming new season in the Adidas/Star Wars range. However, before I get carried away I need to remember that I only have two feet and have to save up to go see Voodle in New York this summer (where I WILL finally snag the elusive Ueno Panda...)

3 BAPE opened up their first UK Pirate Store in Shoreditch from January 22-30th and offered rarities, factory seconds and limited quantities of fresh items at discounted prices. Naturally I was there on the sunday, met with a medium sized, but healthy queue outside the main doors, flanked by three huge guards decked in the finest Ape-wear. Inside was more of the same, with racks upon racks of goods surrounded by hype-bastards, clueless turds and general riff-raff. I copped a pair of red/gold Apesta88 (basically the Air Jordan 3 but for twice the price) discounted from £165 to £99. It was a no-brainer.

4 & 5 I previewed the Nike + Stüssy All-Courts back in October and impatiently awaited the drop. Learning my mistakes after the Nike Supreme 94 debacle I was all over tis release like a tramp on discarded chips. This time when I rang the Hideout, after exchanging pleasantries, I was hit with the million dollar question;

"Do you want to reserve a pair in white, in black, or do you want both?"

I shook, softly at first, but with each tremor my movement became more violent. Weighing up the pros and cons in my mind (Cons: Would barely afford to live for a month, christmas would be a struggle. Pros: I'd look hella bad-ass) I took the plunge and opted for both. Lucky I did though, as they sold out in a day, and considering that the Hideout was the only stockist of the kicks in the UK I was a very lucky boy indeed. I'll say this though, I didn't eat properly for the following weeks, but by God are my shoes beautiful.

6 Following on from my first AirMax gamble in August, I felt the time was right to get more. Well, that's a lie, I just happened to be in Foot Patrol with a fresh paycheck burning a hole in my pocket and had to buy them, mainly to fill the Infra-Red sized hole in my life...

7 ...which I plugged not long after. I wanted the Infra-Reds upon release back in August, but couldn't afford them due to moving down south, so when I finally got some pennies rolling I hunted the internet for a pair. As usual though, the only sizes available were in the region of size 5 (buy nice shoes you tiny footed pricks or I'll cut off your limbs). Luckily, New York dealer Kixclusive got some in to their web store, and the price, including postage, worked out roughly the same. Like all AirMax they're very comfy and seem to go with anything, despite the unorthodox colouring. Emma can't stand them though, but screw it, they're comfy and swish, and came in a stupidly fast amount of time.

So yeah, that's what I've been up-to for the last few months, aside from lucha-libre, Fanric, tee jaunts and music video making, but they're stories for another time....

...oh go on then. Here's a music video I made with my boys at Fungunt Productions for the Eurythmics' synth classic 'There Must Be An Angel (Playing With My Heart)'. Enjoy, and if you genuinely DO enjoy, then please let me, or the boys know through the above links *looks up two lines*

Stüssy

Stüssy are going collaboration crazy this season as they continue to celebrate 30 years of hype glory, with the second Bape x Stüssy dropping in Bape London today and the upcoming Nike x Stüssy range hitting the Hideout next month. Want to see what's coming? Of course you do!

Bape x Stüssy: 'Survival of the Fittest'

The first part of this collab hit in late June and featured but a few limited edition tees. Part two promises to be much more imaginative, with tees, caps, hoods, shoes, coats and accessories scheduled to be released, as well as exclusive Bape x Stüssy shopping bags, also in limited supply.

Sorry for the piss-poor image quality...

Bape x Stüssy Limited Bag: Don't ask how I got hold of one. I won't tell.

So what are you doing reading this? This shit is a guaranteed sell-out, so if you're in London I urge you to go today and land some sweet threads! If not, get down to Bape in roughly two weeks time for drop number two!

For more on the collab, check out this interview with Bape's Nigo and Stüssy's Paul Mittleman form Honeyee.com.

Nike x Stüssy: 'All Court Mid'

Also released as part of Stüssy's 30th celebrations are the upcoming Nike All Courts. Scheduled to be available in both mysto blue and black, these are probably going to sell-out before they're even released. Hideout in London are the sole stockists of these in the UK, although exact prices and release dates are yet to be finalised. Go to Hideout's website and Paul Mittleman's blog for more details.

SB = Swish Bastard

Yes. It's true. I now own some Nike x Supreme SBs. I am fucking buzzing.

Whilst the more seasoned and cynical followers of hype fashion may sneer at the Nike Supreme 94s I could not give two hoots. What this (worryingly) proves to me is how much I value my wardrobe as not only was I frantically calling into every sneak-boutique as soon as these were announced trying to find a supplier and a due date, but I had the numbers of said stores on speed-dial, calling in the middle of the night all forlorn and breathless like a sex offender. But, as is the case with Murphy's Law, I was almost right royally shafted. Now I have a job (but seeing as it started so late in the year) I was entitled to book one day off before December 31st, so I did and on the 18th of November I went home to Wallasey in order to spend a quiet weekend celebrating my 22nd with my family and my better half. Little did I know that on this average weekend not only would these sneakers drop, but there'd be no chance of reserving a pair. Oh and my future wife Dita Von Teese was performing in London.

I take it you now understand my sheer horror.

Fast forward to monday and my lunch-break in work. The phone comes out. The Hideout are called;

Hideout: "Good afternoon, Hideout."

Me: "Alright mate, what's the stock like on the Nike Supreme SBs in a UK size 10?"

Hideout: "Sorry mate, sold out."

Me: "Duck sauce."

Phone hangs up. A look of abject terror grips my face. Dover Street Market are called;

DSM: "Good afternoon, Dover Street Market."

Me: "What's the stock like on the Nike Supreme SBs in a UK size 10? FOR GOD'S SAKE MAN TELL ME."

DSM: "We have one pair left and they're in blue."

Me: "Please please PLEASE can you reserve them until after 5 tonight? I NEED these shoes!"

DSM: "Sure thing, see you later!"

Phone hangs up. My face calms down. My hands stop trembling.

Anywho, long story short, I got to DSM in record time from Shepherd's Bush, bought the bastards and danced home like little ol' Charlie Bucket.

Life Jim, but Not as We Know It

So it may not involve being paid to wear outstanding Reeboks, be transcribing the finest details of Snoop Dogg's latest wild party or write about African land snails, but I have myself a job. I'm currently working in Graham (plumber's merchant) in Shepherd's Bush and its surprisingly really really fun. I'm only two weeks into it but already I have witnessed prank calls, a klaxon attack, a sausage being slapped across a room and more homosexual innuendo then you'd care to shake a stick at. Boss. At the end of the day though it's money in the bank and I've had my eye on a fair few items as of late...

University of Michigan Letterman jacket

Currently available in Urban Outfitters for a cool £120, this will be mine and finally fill the varsity shaped hole in my wardrobe.

I must be totally honest with you though, there is one predominant reason why I want this jacket, it's not to make the missus jealous, or because I'd look like the High-School football captain (I will tackle everyone whilst wearing this jacket though). No, the reason I want this jacket, is so I can finally be one of the Steiner Brothers. Incredible.

Nike SB P.Rod

I've really been hankering for some stripped back SBs as of late, I originally had my eye on the Koston's, but unfortunately, as is the way with all sought-after sneakers, they're all but sold, except for sizes 5-7. Who are these tiny footed bastards and why aren't they buying these shoes? Duck sauce. Anyway, my next alternative is the Paul Rodriguez pro model, currently available from Slam City for a smashing £54.95.

A Bathing APE ASNKA Crewneck

I have never had a harder time finding an item of clothing as I have when looking for a simple grey sweater  with a nice front-print. It has been stupidly hard, like trying to cut an apple in half in mid air with a katana and no formal bushido training. BLHB favourites BAPE have this available on their EU website currently for £160, with a Champion collab available online soon. Again, I am going to hunt this down like a man possessed and wear it like it were a second skin.

This weekend in Shoreditch (12th-14th of November) you can find a Gimme Five endorsed sample sale. Entry is one English pound and features items from Stüssy, GoodEnoughUK and Billionaire Boys Club amongst others. Friday was Stüssy exclusive, and I managed to pick up one of last year's Xaime Hernandez tees (but in white) for £15. Sunday is throwing up a sale from London hotspot the Hideout which should unearth some absolutely choice cuts.

MOTIFS OF THE WEEK

• Scarves with everything
• Getting angry at Radio One
• Watching the original extended cut of Clerks on repeat with the commentary track
• Drinking hot chocolate and being called a Teddy Boy
• Singing LFC chants at any possible moment
• Listening to copious amounts of Fugazi
• Listening to Between the Buried and Me's cover of 'Territory' by Sepultura and thinking it would be ideal entrance music if I ever became a professional wrestler

See? I'd totally win championships to that music.